When my husband and | got married 18 years ago, | was so excited about this new phase of my life — sharing my life with this beautiful and wonderful man that the Lord has blessed me with, and looking forward to having a second family. I’m an only child so | was really excited about now having 6 brothers and sisters (So | thought). It didn’t take long at all for the masks to come off. My in-laws had no boundaries, they were rude, wanted to run my house, and tell me what to do. My husband’s mother would tell me how to prepare his meals, his sister’s kids would be destructive and destroy things in my home when they came to visit, and they were aggressive in their speech meaning they would say anything with no regard to my feelings at all. My husband and | would even have arguments about his family. (This is just the tip of the iceberg. There is much more, but | don’t want to turn this blog into a 500 page novel lol). | was living a nightmare! | didn’t know where all of this was coming from. | was always nice to them, but that wasn’t enough. They wanted to control me and my household and that was NOT happening.
My husband would talk to his family about their behavior and how they treated me, but to no avail his words fell on deaf ears. They did not change their ways and they do not apologize.
came to the realization that this is just the way they are. You cannot change adults. This was becoming a very toxic situation so | had to remove myself from the equation. | do not interfere with my husband’s relationship with his family, but for my sanity and peace of mind | could no longer deal with them and since they cannot respect me, they are no longer welcome into my home. When they stopped coming over, our marriage became stronger and peace and harmony now resides again.
No one should let their family disrespect their spouse. Your spouse comes FIRST. If you’re not ready to put your husband or wife above everyone else, then maybe marriage needs to be put on hold.
If your in-law relationship is toxic or abusive in any way, you have to protect your peace, and if that means removing yourself from the situation, so be it! Love does not mean tolerating mistreatment or harm. Let distance become your best friend. Choosing to protect your marriage, home, and your mind is not to dishonor anyone- It’s called wisdom.
